Now that you’ve been shown the door by your previous employer, it’s time to take stock of the situation and consider a new career. Whilst daytime TV and drinking cans of super strength lager before 11am can be fun, at some point the bills will need to get paid. Getting a reference from your old boss will be like trying to get an ex-partner that you cheated on to be a guarantor for a loan given the fact that you were invited to leave your last position, so a total change of career may be what’s required.
Have you ever thought about becoming a Plastic Surgeon?
The pay is pretty good and you’ll get to use one of those scalpels that were used for dissecting frogs legs in biology when you were at school every day.
If real life games of, ‘Operation,’ are your thing and you don’t believe that every person has a steak positioned next to their kidneys – becoming a Plastic Surgeon might be just the career change you’ve been looking for.
Here’s what you’ll need to do in order to become successful:
1. Get yourself a degree
Before you turn up at medical school with a pair of stethoscopes around your neck, you’ll need to have completed a pre-medical course. Subjects like Organic Chemistry, Inorganic Chemistry, Physics and Biology are the usual bases from which a plastic surgery career gets launched. Taking part in extra-curricular activities will also do you no harm but it needs to be relevant to your future vocation eg. Working in a hospital and/or showing excellent leadership qualities. Knowing how to suck the poison out of a bee sting may unfortunately not be sufficient.
2. Finish medical school
During your time at medical school you’ll have to complete two years of classroom training in the sciences followed by another two years of clinical study in various medical disciplines. You will take courses in: (are you ready – take a deep breath….) Anatomy, Physiology, Biochemistry, Pathology, Microbiology and Pharmacology. If all those ologies aren’t enough for you, you’ll also have to complete study courses in Family Practice, Internal Medicine, Obstetrics, Gynaecology, Paediatric surgery and Psychiatry.
3. Get your licence
The great irony about being a physician is that in order to practice, you’ll have to prove you can do it for real. You’ll therefore need to pass a medical licensing exam to prove that you can apply all the basic scientific concepts to the practice of medicine. If you’re the sort of doctor that uses stolen body parts to change people’s luck however, the likelihood is you probably won’t be given a licence.
4. Complete a residency
No – not in a super club out in Ibiza unfortunately. Now that you’re a licensed physician, it’s time to start training to be a plastic surgeon (if you hadn’t noticed yet, there’s quite a lot of training required for this plastic surgery lark). You can either do 3 years in a general surgery residency followed by a plastic surgery residency, or you can do a 6 year integrated residency that includes both types of training. [WARNING: More big words ahead] General surgery training will include Abdominal, Breast, Paediatric, Trauma, Cardiothoracic and Neurobiological surgery – whilst your plastic surgery training will cover Cosmetic, Hand, Reconstructive, Laser, Maxillofacial, Otolaryngology and Oculoplastic Surgery. In our opinion, if you can remember all that, you should be given a white coat and a set of tweezers straight away just for having such a good memory. On top of all this, you’ll also be required to attend large conferences where fellow professionals gather around the cheeseboard discussing the latest innovations in needle technology as well as conduct research and gain teaching experience by participating in journal clubs and dissecting cadavers (the posh name for a corpse).
5. Complete a fellowship
This is basically where you focus on a sub-speciality of plastic surgery and – yes, you guessed it – do some more training and/or research, (if that were at all possible) in your chosen speciality. Fellowships are available in areas such as Hand Surgery, Craniofacial Surgery, Body Contouring, Microvascular Reconstructive Surgery and Aesthetic Surgery.
6. Have a great career
You’ll be called upon to perform elective surgery to improve a person’s looks and appearance, or you may be required to repair physical defects or injuries. You’ll be required to use grafts, perform tissue transfers and to insert implants into areas on your patient’s bodies. It’ll require some serious graft on the journey to becoming a pro, ‘nipper-tucker,’ but just think how great you’ll feel when your ex-boss visits your surgery to have hair implants put in and there, lurking behind the mask – is you!