Sharing is caring!

why not become a male porn star? The W1nners' club

Becoming a male porn star, contrary to what some believe (and what the picture above suggests), is by no means easy. In fact, for want of a better phrase it’s actually quite, erm – hard.

 

Having sex with impossibly beautiful women for seven hours a day may sound like the greatest job on earth, but before you sign off the dole, you might want to consider carefully whether you truly have what it takes to suck-seed in the world of adult entertainment.

 

Can you get as hard as a diamond in the time it takes Optimus Prime to transform back into lorry form?

The role of the male porn actor is to make the woman in the shot look as beautiful and sexy as possible. You are therefore reduced to the status of being a mere prop. You’ll also be expected get hard on demand as the director elicits the required performance from your female counterpart. The male porn actor needs to be ready for action straight away and there won’t be time for any willy or won’t he moments.

 

Can you stay erect for longer than the pyramids at Giza have been?

The average porn scene can take anything from two to seven hours to shoot. Male porn actors therefore need to remain scene-ready for most of that time, bar the odd ten-minute penis break. To succeed therefore, you will need to be able to stand to attention for longer than a toy soldier in a little boy’s play room.

 

Do you have the, ‘firing range,’ of a sniper rifle?

On average, male porn actors need to be able to ejaculate over four tablespoons of semen at least six feet. That’s right – we said six feet! Whilst a significant number of you reading this will be used to aiming your money shot onto a strip of strategically placed tissue paper no more than six centimetres up your chest – porn guys need to achieve a distance over forty times that to achieve sufficient coverage of the female actor’s face.

 

Are you able to get back on the job almost immediately after an erection?

Okay, so you’ve just shot your raunchy porn scene and you’re busy wiping up, ready to light up a cigarette before rolling over and falling asleep, except – this isn’t like coming home from the pub after a few drinks after work. In the world of the porn actor, you’ll be expected to get on with filming the next scene almost straight away.

 

Do you have an ego the size of Eastbourne?

……………….because you’ll jolly well need one. Despite performing feats of coital mastery that would leave most blokes dizzy and begging to be allowed to go home, never mind delivering sizzling sex scenes after seven hours of non-stop humping – absolutely nobody will congratulate you for such inhuman endurance. Male porn actors are not really considered people, they’re basically a large wedge of willy with a person attached to one end – prepare yourself and good luck!

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *