Being unemployed gives you the opportunity to explore new avenues and if needs be – an opportunity to try out a new career.
Whilst conventional employment opportunities may not suit a person of your temperament (hence, the reason why you’ve just been sacked), if you have a bit of an entrepreneurial spark, you may want to consider working for yourself.
If this is the case, setting up your own email scam may be just the break you’ve been looking for to get your life back on track. With potential clients situated across the globe and requiring little more than a bank account and an email account, becoming an online con artist masquerading as a deposed African Leader may prove to be an inspired career choice.
Here’s what you’ll need to do if you want to become successful:
(Legal Disclaimer: Don’t break the law – you f*cking idiot!!)
1. Develop your story
You’ll need to assume the persona of the relative of a recently deposed African ruler before you begin. The leader in question doesn’t necessairly need to be from Nigeria – an alternative African state will do, but you’ll need to be convincing so it’s best to watch the news a little bit beforehand to see which nations are currently undergoing a period of political strife and/or civil war.
2. Set up an email account
Any standard email provider will do. Be mindful of the name you use as firstname.lastname@example.org won’t be very convincing given the story you’re attempting to peddle.
3. Look for potential victims
You may want to consider targeting people that do lotteries or horoscopes as they will be insane enough to believe that $10 million will fall from the sky and land in their laps. Alternatively, you may want to consider trawling social media and dating websites to find lonely and vulnerable singletons with cash to spare. The general consensus in the Nigerian email scam community is that the Saudis in particular tend to have more money than sense.
4. Construct your email
Below is a template you can use for your scam email. Feel free to amend the required details as required for your adopted persona and don’t forget to include all the broken English and bad grammar for authenticity:
Dear Beloved Friend,
I know this message will come to you as surprised but permit myself of my desire to go into business relationships with you.
I am <insert name here> a daughter/son <delete as appropriate> to late Oluwa Obafemi of Nigeria who was assassinated during the recent political conflict. Before his death my late father came to Cotonou in Benin Republic with the sum of $4.2 million which he deposited in a bank there for safe keeping.
I am here seeking for an avenue to transfer the fund to you in only you’re reliable and trustworthy person to investment the fund.
I am here in Benin Republic because of the deceased of my both parents and I want you to help me transfer the fund into your bank account for investment purpose.
Please I will offer you 20% of the total sum of USD 4.2million for your assistance.
Please I wish to transfer the fund urgently without delay into your account and also wish to relocate to your country due to the poor condition in Benin, as to enable me to continue my education as I was a medical student before the sudden death of my parents.
Reply to my email: <insert chosen email address here>
Your immediate response would be appreciated.
Remain blessed, dear, dear friend,
<insert name here>
5. Find out as much about your mark as possible
You’ll need to develop a level of trust with the person you plan to defraud. Your mark could be a desperate single lady with a predilection for men of African descent or maybe they are a greedy individual that is looking to make a quick buck? Whatever the impulse, their key personal information that you’ll need to establish early on is where they work and how much they have in their bank account – this will help you to assess how lucrative the scam is likely to be.
6. Invent some obstacles
Despite supposedly having millions stashed away in a secure bank account, you will now need to convince your mark that none of this money can be accessed without paying certain fees, bribes and fines to the authorities. Your aim at this point should be to get your victim to pay these costs by assuring them that once they are paid, the government will release the cash and he/she will receive their appropriate commission.
7. Invent a few more obstacles after receiving some money
One you have received money from your mark, you’ll need to invent a few more obstacles in order to extract even more cash from them. We suggest saying that the money has been held up at the border and that you require more to bribe the customs officials. If you can, try to obtain additional personal information like social security numbers and copies of their passport so that you can steal their identity as well. You should at this point be able to play on the fact that your victim has already spent a significant amount on your scam already so a little more is needed to complete the process. With so much already invested, most people will find it hard to walk away at this point.
8. Do it again to someone else
……..and keep doing it until you’ve made enough money to retire with.