Monarch Airlines still ahead of Ryanair in customer satisfaction league tables

Monarch Airlines still ahead of Ryanair in customer satisfaction league tables

  Monarch Airlines is still marginally ahead of fierce rival Ryanair in the customer satisfaction league tables despite going into administration and leaving 110,000 passengers stranded overseas.   Efforts are continuing to bring back holidaymakers after the carrier went bust having racked up £60million in losses this year, but the majority of Monarch customers that…

News , , , , ,

Mass sickie at Air Berlin is so bad even the autopilots have called in with flu

Mass sickie at Air Berlin is so bad even the autopilots have called in with flu

The mass sickie at Air Berlin is now so bad that some of its autopilots have called in complaining of various illnesses.   Germany’s second-largest carrier has had to cancel about 100 flights after a large number of pilots called in sick with mystery illnesses such as: “I left my work uniform on the bus…

News , , ,

Ryanair cancelling UK-EU flights will make absolutely no difference to journey times

Ryanair cancelling UK-EU flights will make absolutely no difference to journey times

  Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary told the European parliament that the cancellation of flights between the UK and EU will make absolutely no difference to journey times.   Despite Heathrow being deserted, summer holidays cancelled and aircraft being moved to Europe as a result of Brexit, Ryanair flights have historically landed so far away from…

News , , , ,

British Airways declare war on Ryanair in the budget airline arms race

British Airways declare war on Ryanair in the budget airline arms race

  British Airways is seeking to intensify its operations in the budget airline arms race by cramming enough passengers onto its planes to make them all resemble sardines in a tin.   The airline said there will be a “small increase” in the number of seats on its aircraft that will reduce the average leg…

News , , ,

“We’re not a f*cking haulage company!” says Ryanair to customers

“We’re not a f*cking haulage company!” says Ryanair to customers

  Ryanair says its customers have completely taken the piss of late by taking advantage of its relaxed attitude to hand luggage.   The budget airline has been infamous in the past for viewing customers as nothing more than an unfortunate hindrance in an otherwise enjoyable and highly profitable business operation. Ryanair’s Head of Customer…

News , , ,

Ryanair doing package holidays makes Club 18-30s resemble a gap year in Provence

Ryanair doing package holidays makes Club 18-30s resemble a gap year in Provence

  Low cost airline operator Ryanair announced the launch of a new package holiday service that seeks to undercut existing tour operators by offering even cheaper ways for young Brits to get into trouble on the continent through excessive binge drinking.   The new venture called Ryanair Holidays, will take what’s left of UK holidaymakers’…

News ,