Tesco to take on Aldi and Lidl by placing random products next to each other

Tesco to take on Aldi and Lidl by placing random products next to each other

  Tesco is understood to be working on a secret plan to take on cut-price chains Aldi and Lidl by placing random products next to each other in its stores.   Aldi and Lidl have been winning shoppers from the big four supermarkets namely: Tesco, Asda, Morrisons and Sainsbury’s since the last recession, yet in…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I can’t stand pricing products at £9.99

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – I can’t stand pricing products at £9.99

  Dear Darcus, I can’t stand pricing the products in my retail store at £9.99 when all I have to do is add on an extra penny and all of a sudden you get a lovely whole number price of £10. The shareholders often accuse me of putting my own peculiarities before the success of…

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Next men’s underwear to be sold at Tesco deli counters

Next men’s underwear to be sold at Tesco deli counters

  Tesco is set to start selling Next men’s underwear at its deli counters in an attempt to woo in-store customers who may be in desperate need of a change of pants.   Britain’s largest supermarket chain recently struck a deal with the high-street fashion brand to use the extra space in its larger stores,…

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Crying caused by Christmas adverts is set to hit record levels this year

Crying caused by Christmas adverts is set to hit record levels this year

  The amount of crying generated by Christmas adverts is set to hit record levels this year according to an industry trade body.   The Advertising Association says the likelihood of someone bursting into tears whilst watching the latest Christmas advert by one of the major retailers such as John Lewis, M&S and Asda has…

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Mary Portas towns resemble Hill Valley in Back to the Future II

Mary Portas towns resemble Hill Valley in Back to the Future II

  A survey of 12 government-funded “Portas Pilot” towns found that nearly all of them resemble the alternate Hill Valley from Back to the Future II.   The towns were awarded a share of a £1.2m fund, government support and access to retail guru Mary Portas who has single handedly turned them into no go…

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Tesco to sell brown bananas and roadkill in a bid to reduce food waste

Tesco to sell brown bananas and roadkill in a bid to reduce food waste

  Tesco has announced it will start selling brown bananas and roadkill as part of its plans to cut food waste.   The supermarket chain says the brown bananas are “perfectly ripe” and will be just as sweet as yellow-coloured ones, the only difference will be that customers should avoid eating the mouldy bits as…

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Liam Gallagher left confused after businessman tries to buy Oasis

Liam Gallagher left confused after businessman tries to buy Oasis

  Liam Gallagher has expressed shock and confusion upon reading in the press that an Indian businessman is interested in buying Oasis.   The singer read that Ajay Khaitan who is alleged to be on Interpol’s wanted list, is planning a multi-million pound offer through his private equity firm Emerisque Brands and the star has…

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Notice of disciplinary meeting – DIY Store Shelf Stacker

Notice of disciplinary meeting – DIY Store Shelf Stacker

Date 10/08/2017   Dear Bob, I am writing to tell you that you are required to attend a disciplinary meeting on 14/08/2017 at 9am which is to be held in my office. At this meeting the question of disciplinary action against you, in accordance with the Company Disciplinary Procedure, will be considered with regard to:…

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How to deal with difficult customers like Craig Feldspar from Malcolm in the Middle would

How to deal with difficult customers like Craig Feldspar from Malcolm in the Middle would

If you’re lucky / unfortunate (delete as appropriate) enough to work in retail, you’ll know that difficult customers are part and parcel of the daily grind. Whilst it’s too easy to immediately lose your temper and start insulting shoppers every time they annoy you, your commitment to your employer and more importantly, to paying the…

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Retailers give up Bond Street store leases and hope to land on free parking

Retailers give up Bond Street store leases and hope to land on free parking

  One in four retailers on London’s Bond Street have considered selling their leases in the hope of landing on free parking instead.   With parking space in the capital now costing the same as Lionel Messi’s latest tax return, Dolce & Gabbana, Hugo Boss, De Beers and DKNY are among the big brands that…

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