How to avoid doing any work in the office whilst looking extremely busy

How to avoid doing any work in the office whilst looking extremely busy

  Working life is hard. In the years that pass subsequent to getting your first job after leaving school or college, you will be reduced to a mere number on a balance sheet. The enjoyment of your life will take second place behind the need to put food on the table and clothes on your…

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How to covertly record workplace meetings that you’re not allowed to attend

How to covertly record workplace meetings that you’re not allowed to attend

  Let’s face it. You’re just not senior enough to get called in for the really important meetings in your office. All is not lost however. The following techniques will give you access to the meeting information regardless of whether you’ve been invited to attend or not, so you’ll still have first hand knowledge of…

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Constantly aroused in the office

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Constantly aroused in the office

  Dear Darcus, I am constantly aroused in the office. I seriously think that I could hump every single one of my colleagues – guys, girls, everyone – at once! If ever somebody asks me a completely innocent question I always give them a double entendre laden answer in response. I even got into the…

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The danger of telling colleagues how to make a decent cup of coffee

The danger of telling colleagues how to make a decent cup of coffee

  The perfect cup of coffee is a bit like the perfect woman or the perfect man. We all have a very unique take on what perfection actually is. Just like choosing a partner, if you decide to openly share your ideas about what perfection is with your colleagues, you’ll more than likely face a…

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How to Break into your boss’s office

   

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W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Country Music

W1nners’ Club Problem Page – Country Music

  Dear Darcus, I absolutely adore Country music and on a Friday afternoon I will often put on my stetson hat and sing along to country FM which I deliberately play as loud as possible so everyone else in the office can join in with me. The trouble is everyone else on the team says…

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How your office could revert back to the Stone Age as a result of dress down Fridays

How your office could revert back to the Stone Age as a result of dress down Fridays

  Dress down Fridays can be a sticking point in many workplaces depending on the point of view the management takes in relation to staff happiness. Whilst some companies enthusiastically embrace the idea and allow workers to dress in casual, smart attire during the working week, others consider dress down Fridays to be something that…

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10 instances where people qualify for ‘That Guy’ status in the office

10 instances where people qualify for ‘That Guy’ status in the office

Everybody has, ‘that guy,’ in their office. You know the type. They always go the extra mile to make it known to everyone else how eccentric or just plain annoying they can be between the hours of 9:00am and 5:30pm. ‘That guy,’ status has been a part of office culture ever since the first cavemen…

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10 reasons why being in prison is much better than working in an office

10 reasons why being in prison is much better than working in an office

  It’s been four years since you first arrived here and the days just don’t seem to be getting any shorter. Time is still your arch enemy and as each day passes a recurring thought runs through your mind. “When will I get out of here?” True – things aren’t as bad as when you…

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“You’re nicked!” 9 ridiculous workplace theft allegations

“You’re nicked!” 9 ridiculous workplace theft allegations

    1.    Stealing from the Water Cooler     I’m on a diet that requires me to drink a metric shit ton of water so I carry around a 1L Nalgine bottle at all times. I’m a mid-level manager at a 60 person company. At the end of the work day on my way…

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