Donald Trump refuses to watch colour TV in case he upsets white supremacists

Donald Trump refuses to watch colour TV in case he upsets white supremacists

  Donald Trump has disbanded his business advisory think tank after a number of CEOs quit when he refused to watch television in full colour for fear of upsetting white supremacists.   The executives in question found it nigh on impossible to analyse stock and share prices on CNN and Bloomberg, because the President insisted…

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FTSE 100 wobbles as Kim Jong Un claims his dad can beat up Donald Trump’s dad

FTSE 100 wobbles as Kim Jong Un claims his dad can beat up Donald Trump’s dad

  London’s FTSE 100 was nearly 1% down during morning trading as investors reacted nervously when Kim Jong Un claimed that his dad could beat up Donald Trump’s dad.   The jitters came as Pyongyang said that it’s former leader Kim Jong Il could easily beat Donald Trump’s father in an arm wrestle if either…

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Trump instructs Disney CEO to confirm Mickey Mouse’s immigration status

Trump instructs Disney CEO to confirm Mickey Mouse’s immigration status

  Walt Disney Chief Executive Bob Iger was forced to defend his seat on President Trump’s business advisory council after Mickey Mouse was accused of being an illegal immigrant.   Facing tough questions from Mr. Trump regarding his inclusion on the council, the chief executive said he had no plans to step down from the…

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Twitter clamps down on internet trolls in a bid to silence Trump

Twitter clamps down on internet trolls in a bid to silence Trump

  Twitter has announced it will expand its efforts to protect users from abuse and harassment, by trying to get President Trump’s account suspended.   The social media platform has come under fire recently for failing to address hate and abuse since its founding a decade ago and its reputation as a free speech haven…

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Business talk is off the menu at Trump family dinners

Business talk is off the menu at Trump family dinners

  Business talk will be banned at Trump family dinners in a bid to avoid any conflict of interest now that Donald Jr and Eric have taken control of the President’s commercial interests.   Mr Trump is hoping that by simply not talking about business with any of his sons, he will be compliant with…

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Donald Trump to shorten his tweets in a bid to rescue US economy

Donald Trump to shorten his tweets in a bid to rescue US economy

  US President elect Donald Trump has vowed to reduce the length of his tweets as part of a radical plan to rescue the US economy.   Barely a week after taking a pot shot at Boeing, his latest social media mauling has knocked over £4 billion from the value of three defence companies involved…

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Share prices to get more devalued than Mexicans if Donald Trump wins US election

Share prices to get more devalued than Mexicans if Donald Trump wins US election

  Investors and businesses are preparing for share prices to fall lower than the future social status of illegal immigrant Mexicans if Donald Trump wins the US election.   A victory by Trump is expected to send shares into freefall and most of the major trading banks will have staff on high alert this evening…

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