Britain to keep the Bayeux Tapestry until France agrees to give Calais back

Britain to keep the Bayeux Tapestry until France agrees to give Calais back

  The UK government has pledged to keep the Bayeux Tapestry until France agrees to return the ownership of the port of Calais back to Britain.   French President Emmanuel Macron offered to loan the 950 year old textile weave and UK Prime Minister Theresa May has stated that the only way it will be…

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Robert Mugabe offers to help out with Brexit trade negotiations

Robert Mugabe offers to help out with Brexit trade negotiations

  Former Zimbabwean President Mr. Robert Mugabe has offered to assist with Britain’s trade talks in the next round of Brexit negotiations.   The ageing ex-dictator is said to be looking for a new project to undertake now that he has a lot more time on his hands since leaving office and Zimbabwean officials have…

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Brexit still means Brexit which now means something completely different to Brexit

Brexit still means Brexit which now means something completely different to Brexit

  The government has confirmed that Brexit still means Brexit, but the new Brexit may appear to resemble something completely different to what one would immediately recognise as being Brexit.   As talks on the issue of the Northern Irish border with the Republic of Ireland stalled once again, the government is keen to reassure…

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Toblerone signs a deal to be featured in the next series of Twin Peaks

Toblerone signs a deal to be featured in the next series of Twin Peaks

  The producers of Twin Peaks have announced that they have signed a product placement deal that will feature Toblerone in the new series of the Mystery drama television show.   Toblerone’s specially made, ‘Twin Peaks’ chocolate bar that was designed especially for the new series, will sell for just £1 and will be available…

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Marks and Spencer will peg the price of Percy Pigs to the value of Bitcoin

Marks and Spencer will peg the price of Percy Pigs to the value of Bitcoin

  Marks and Spencer has announced it will peg the price of Percy Pig sweets to the value of bitcoin in a bid to thwart the negative effects of Brexit on supplies.   A 170g bag of the famous sweets now costs £1.65, up from £1.50 and the retailer says that much like the adoption…

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Carlsberg Special Brew to be reclassified as Scotch Whisky after Brexit

Carlsberg Special Brew to be reclassified as Scotch Whisky after Brexit

  The UK’s trade deal with the US after Brexit may see drinks like Carlsberg Special Brew being reclassified as Scotch Whisky.   The current EU definition of whisky protects the Scottish whisky industry from sub-standard products, but that is all likely to change after the UK’s European divorce when drinks like 20/20, Thunderbirds, Kestrel…

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BMW pledges to build at least one of its electric Mini models in the UK after Brexit

BMW pledges to build at least one of its electric Mini models in the UK after Brexit

  BMW has committed to building a fully electric version of the Mini in the UK regardless of the outcome of Brexit trade negotiations.   The company says that it has “neither sought nor received” any reassurances from the UK Government on post-Brexit trading arrangements, so as a result will focus its efforts on constructing…

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Pound is now lower than Lance Armstrong’s Tour de France race strategy

Pound is now lower than Lance Armstrong’s Tour de France race strategy

  The pound has lost so much value since last year’s Brexit vote that it is now rumoured to be lower than Lance Armstrong’s Tour de France race strategy.   British holidaymakers faced one of the worst exchange rates on record this weekend, with the pound falling so fast that simply saying the word ‘pound’…

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Ryanair cancelling UK-EU flights will make absolutely no difference to journey times

Ryanair cancelling UK-EU flights will make absolutely no difference to journey times

  Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary told the European parliament that the cancellation of flights between the UK and EU will make absolutely no difference to journey times.   Despite Heathrow being deserted, summer holidays cancelled and aircraft being moved to Europe as a result of Brexit, Ryanair flights have historically landed so far away from…

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