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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
A member of my team takes no less than ten, ten minute toilet breaks per day minimum. Should this unliaterally acquired annual leave be amortised through a reduced lunch hour, or should I simply dock the skiver’s wages?


Dear Reader,

Obviously, staff should be free to use the toilet when they choose in the modern workplace – they are not in prison after all but therein lies the problem. You see in prison, particularly on chain gangs, the level of output is far greater than that which is often delivered by office workers that have not been committed to a life of servitude to society by the courts and as a result, staff often think it’s morally sound to exercise their free will by going to the loo as often as they please. I suggest you restrict access to the toilets by engineering a flood and leaving the taps on overnight, or simply get someone to block them with toilet paper. Your staff members will soon get the message that work is for work and using the toilet is something that should be done in their own time.

Hope this helps.

Darcus White


Send your management problems in to – there’s nothing quite like seeing how things shouldn’t be done to get the inspiration required that helps you solve the issue for yourself.


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