Sharing is caring!

Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
I’m terrified of a nuclear war breaking out. Every time I watch the news it looks as if we’re only a couple of minutes away from hearing the three minute warning. As a result, I make sure all my staff are equipped with gas masks and radioactiviy suits (all to be deducted from their salaries of course) and we regularly hold drills that involve staying in a bunker i’ve had constructed in the staff car park for several weeks on end. Do you think i’m being over cautious?


Dear Reader,

You can never be over cautious when it comes to the well being of your employees. The fact that you keep them locked in an underground bunker for several weeks on end, whilst strictly speaking being a contravention of pretty much every single human rights law in existence, not to mention employment legislation – at least they can eventually go home to their families when the radioactivity has faded and a recognisable form of government reannounces its existence on the radio. The fact that this scenario exists solely in your head merely reinforces how much you’ve put their welfare at the forefront of your decision making. I wish we were as forward thinking as you here at The W1nners’ Club – although I have to say that most of our lot would refuse to go back home to their families whether it was a practice drill or not.

Hope this helps.


Feel free to email us with your corporate conundrums at – If you get a satisfactory reponse it’ll be from someone else!!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *