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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,

I work in a small company that only has one staff toilet between six of us. Everytime I go to use the loo, there is always a steaming great log in the bowl that the person who used it beforehand has kindly left as an unsightly gift for me. I know that it’s not me who keeps leaving the toilet unflushed, so how do I work out which one of my co-workers is responsible for log-gate?


Dear Reader,

The old ‘ownerless floater’ is an ongoing problem in working life and one that has to be stamped out immediately. Whilst all staff should indeed be free to use the office’s toilet facilities as they require them, not flushing the loo is an abuse of privilege in my opinion and anyone that is a habitual offender should suffer the ignominy of going to the pub around the corner instead – no matter how desperate they are! I suggest that you take a couple of days out from your schedule and wait outside the toilet to check it after everyone else has used the facilities. It won’t be long before you find out who the culprit is by using this method. Just be sure to remember to flush the loo yourself as an obsessive fixation with who does or doesn’t flush the toilet could cause you to forget to do the things that you’re supposed to do – like flush the toilet for example….

Hope this helps.


Please drop up as line if you’d like help sorting out your workplace problems on – alternatively you could sort the problem out yourself which would incidentally be an infinitely wiser choice.


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