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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,

I can’t help wearing sunglasses in the office. I’m a huge fan of Roy Orbison and he always wore shades whether he was indoors or outdoors and nobody thought it was in any way strange. When I do it however, all my employees think it’s hypocritical when I tell them that it’s important everybody dresses appropriately when either going out to meet clients or if visitors are being shown around our office building. It just goes to show that there’s one rule for the rich and famous and another for people who are just rich. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to dress how I want just because i’m the chairman of a FTSE 100 company?


Dear Reader,

You are quite right when you say that people seem to allow rock stars to get away with sartorial murder when they are at work, but if you work in an office, all of a sudden you have to reign yourself in for some reason. I am a huge fan of Lady Gaga and I usually keep a dinner suit in my office that has strips of bacon attached to it. I tend to just keep the suit hung up in my wardrobe at work, so you can imagine the sense of injustice I felt when I was fined by the environmental health department for keeping rotting meat in my office attached to a tuxedo jacket. I mean, fair enough, there might have been a huge problem with flies as a result of the maggots that habitually feast upon what’s left of the meat, but do you think Lady Gaga gets fined for keeping her meat dresses at work? She probably has a walk-in fridge full of them. It goes to show that there is indeed a two-tier system when it comes to attaching meat to your work clothes.

Hope this helps.


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