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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
One of my employees does that weird naked sh*tting thing. He’s some sort of freaky naturalist and believes that clothes somehow inhibit the pooping process so he takes them all off whenever he uses the toilet. Is this appropriate behaviour for someone that works in an office of 700 people?


Dear Reader,

Such behaviour is very strange for an office of 7 people let alone 700. I have to say that personally, I would never strip off all my clothes to take a poop. Pooing is by far one of the most sacred of human manouvers. It is the very essence by which that which came from the earth is returned and and as a result I personally find it very difficult to take a shit without leaving my socks on. The socks also have to be the cheap kind you get in supermarket bargain bins that have the word SPORT written around the tops of the ankles. I always keep a pair in my cupboard at work and when I put them on at my desk, it serves as a warning to colleagues that I will be removing the rest of my clothes in the toilet shortly. To answer your question in full therefore – anyone that strips off entirely to take a poo at work in my opinion is a total weirdo and needs help – that or they’re an exhibitionist. I mean, why would you want people to see your toes if you’re about to take a shit?

Hope this helps.

Darcus White


Feel free to email us at about whatever management issues you may have. Just bear in mind that the last two companies we helped are no longer in existence. The official line is that this is due to adverse trading conditions but we know different.


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