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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,

I am mildly ashamed to say that I have a real thing for serial killers. I work in the accounts payable department of a building supplies firm in Guildford so as you can imagine, I don’t get to meet many serial killers as most of them are either in jail or haven’t been caught by the police yet (how am I supposed to meet them if nobody knows that they’re a serial killer except for their victims?). Anyway, i’ve been sending letters to various people in jail and not one of them has replied me yet. Do you think I might be coming across as a bit weird by getting in contact with them – even for a serial killer?


Dear Reader,

Unrequainted love is often hard to take and if you have read my book, The W1nners’ Club – Part One, you’d know that I too have to struggle with rejection every time I try to get somebody into bed. The best way to cope is to try and think of ways that you can get your love interest to appreciate you by making them feel jealous. Sometimes the feeling of anger that one experiences is what’s required to kick the emotions into touch and make somebody realise that you’re actually more important to them than they realise. All I would say is that you should only try this on a serial killer that will be spending at least a few more years behind bars, as the last thing you want is to make a mass-murderer really angry after putting your address on a letter only to find that they’re about to be released in a couple of months time.

Hope this helps.

Send your career complications in to – If we end up solving your problem, another infinitely more serious one is pretty much guaranteed to replace it as a result.


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