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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
I’m the owner of a fairly successful company – well, I say successful but the reality is we’re not doing anywhere near as well as we should be. The point is, my staff keep threatening to leave but I refuse to award pay rises because I don’t want anyone to earn anything closer to my salary than they already do. At the moment I can show off about going on fancy holidays and renovating my house but I fear that if my staff have the means to enjoy a decent stadard of living, I won’t feel superior to them anymore. Can you help?


Dear Reader,

I fully understand your problem here. It’s hard enough being the boss these days with employment legislation and human rights laws etc. so one of the best ways to keep staff under control is to constantly remind them just how pitiful and depressing their daily existence is. God forbid, if you actually tried to inspire them by motivating them with a creative leadership approach, they’d only think that they too might be smart enough to run their own company one day so that really is out of the question. The trick is to try and get your staff to accept their situation as being completely normal and if you can somehow convince them that you are born of a different species that is somehow destined to remain wealthier than them regardless of merit, that should help to stop them believing in such crazy ideas as personal development. I know it will be difficult for you as we haven’t really had an effective caste system since the middle ages but nevertheless, if the 14th century feudal lords could do it, there’s no reason why you can’t as well.

Hope this helps.


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