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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
A person on my team has the equivalent punctuality of the Southern Rail service from Tattenham Corner to London Bridge when there’s a strike on. How do I get them to change their ways and learn the art of using an alarm clock?


Dear Reader,

Time keeping can appear unimportant to people outside the world of staff management, but those of us in the know are fully aware of how important punctuality is in maintaining discipline and focus on the team. Think of the disgruntled looks on your team member’s faces when you come back late from a client lunch slurring your words and telling bad jokes having told them all that they will have their bonuses revoked if general time-keeping doesn’t improve. This is the perfect moment to point at the clock on the wall and yell drunkenly at the top of your voice, “SEE! YOU LOT DON’T FUCKING LIKE IT WHEN I’M LATE DO YOU?” Getting your point across is an important component of good man-management after all.


Hope this helps

Darcus White


Please feel free to send in your management problems to although we must stress that if you need The W1nners’ Club to sort out your management issues – that there is the issue.


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