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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,

My staff have all gone on strike because I insist on having a mini Star Trek convention in the office on Friday afternoons. Whilst a lot of companies have meetings at that point of the week where beer is consumed, I have devised my own version of Klingon Blood Wine that comprises of nothing more than than 2 ice cubes, a double shot of vodka, half a lemon (juice only), 6 dashes of worcestershire sauce, 3 dashes of Tabasco sauce, 150ml of Tomato Juice, a pinch of salt and some freshly ground pepper – do you think my team are nothing more than a bunch of P’takhs that have no honour?


Dear Reader,

Hab SoSlI’ Quch! How dare you even question the fact that because your team don’t enjoy our fine Klingon blood wine, you may want to slaughter them all and place their heads on a stake as a warning to others who decide not to abide by Klingon customs. You are Klingon and this fact doesn’t alter simply because Klingons are a figment of the imagination and therefore don’t actually exist in reality. Here at The W1nners’ Club we are an equal opportunities employer so anyone that doesn’t get involved in our Friday afternoon Star Trek convention will get the sack for being racist! Heghlu’meH QaQ jajvam!

Hope this helps.

Feel free to conctact us at – we’d love to say that contacting us is better than doing nothing to solve your professional problems but unfortunately this isn’t true. In not contacting us you’re 100% more likely to get a favourable result than if you do!


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