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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
I’m afraid I may have an office stalker. A member of my team constantly buys me cups of tea from the canteen and even buys me a card every Christmas and birthday. Should I be flattered by such unwarranted attention, or a little bit spooked by it all?


Dear Reader,

Adulation from subordinates is not a new phenomenon in the workplace. It is however, quite rare for staff to spend all day batting their eyelids at someone who is basically there to ensure life in general isn’t as enjoyable as it should be. Your office stalker is probably a few pennies short of a charity collection tin, or wants a promotion and is therefore likely after your job. Nevertheless, your stalker is actively spending money on you, so if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. We suggest you drop them an email and ask for real leather driving gloves and an Aston Martin race day experience for your next birthday, or even next week – whichever happens sooner.

Hope this helps.

Darcus White


Please feel free to send your management problems to and we in turn will send you a legal disclaimer absolving us of any culpability if you’re actually crazy enough to listen to our advice.


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