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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
I am the Managing Director of a stationery wholesaler in East Grinstead but I have secret desires to be an Emo and turn up to work looking like I don’t care about what people think of me. If I die my hair black and start wearing a dog collar with large metal spikes protruding from it, do you think this will compromise me professionally?


Dear Reader,

As everybody knows, you are what you wear so you’re quite right to ask us about your issue. In my opinion you’re the boss and as the boss, you can do whatever the hell you want or there’d be no point being the boss would there? If you can’t turn up to work wearing a bit of black lipstick and and a nose ring, it’s a sign that your staff don’t really respect you. If I were you i’d go the whole hog and turn up wearing suspenders with a ball gag in your mouth. That would send a very clear message to the team that as the boss, you can wear whatever you want into work and this should hopefully cement your authority around the office. You may however need to remove the ball gag for meetings.

Hope this helps!


Please send you professional problems in to We’ll help you if we can, but we don’t have a clue about management so unfortunately we can’t!


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