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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
I am a 54 year old Managing Director of a double glazing company in Somerset and ever since going to a Ziggy Marley concert back in 1991, I refuse to hire people if they haven’t got dreadlocks. It’s not that I don’t think people who aren’t Rastafarians can’t do the job properly, I just feel much more at home when the office is full of weed smoke and there’s some heavy dub playing on the radio. Do you think I should perhaps widen my recruitment criteria?


Dear Reader,

Here at The W1nners’ Club we also enjoy listening to reggae through our computer speakers, but weed is unequivocally banned in the office during work hours. To compensate however, we have renamed our toilets ‘Zion’ and every staff member is entitled to blaze away in one of the cubicles if they feel the need to get closer to ‘Jah’ for a short period before our weekly strategy review. I am of the opinion that religious background isn’t important in terms of hiring staff, but if smoking weed is what everybody enjoys doing instead of work in your office, then perhaps you should tailor your recruitment to who you think would best fit in with the rest of the team. All we ask is that you perhaps don’t get too upset with everybody if the monthly targets don’t always get met, as we have found that our monthly sales ‘groundations’ tend peter out into lots of playing the Djembe, chanting and political discussions about whether or not the entire company should relocate to Africa in retreat from the ‘Babylon’ that is our annual industry trade conference.

Hope this helps.


Please let us know of your managerial mix-ups at – no doubt we’ll probably just stare at you looking really confused as a result!


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