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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,

I keep getting fired from every new job I get. I’ve been Managing Director of a company, I then got a job as a senior director. From there I managed to secure employment as a team leader and from that point I was lucky enough to secure a cushy little number as a sales executive. After that I managed to get work on the building services team working as a janitor. The problem is, all these jobs were with the same company and it’s owned by my dad. Can you help?


Dear Reader,

Being unemployable can be quite hard at times (especially if you have to pay rent and bills). The best thing we can say is that we too have lots of unemployable people that work here at The W1nners’ Club. They are a lovely bunch deep down, but when it comes to the basics like turning up to work and not snorting cocaine in the toilets, they tend to let themselves down a little bit. Our advice is that you should get a job with a company that truly appreciates you, then you’ll be able to do what you want without getting demoted all the time by the bastards that employ you at the moment. They always say that working with your parents can be difficult, but yours seem like absolute tyrants in constantly sacking you to a lower position. They should think about the company for a change rather than their own issues about how much weed their child smokes in the toilets over a lunchtime. Speak to a union rep if you have one!

Hope this helps.


Feel free to email us at with your workplace worries. We’re the perfect people to help you if you don’t mind ending up fundamentally worse off as a result of speaking to us!




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