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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,

Last night I dreamt that someone on my team stole a packet of fruit pastilles from my top drawer in the office. I know it was only a dream but I can’t help feeling a bit annoyed with them at work so as a result I keep getting them to do complex business reports that aren’t really needed. Do you think this is unprofessional behaviour?


Dear Reader,

Unprofessional behaviour? Of course not. In my opinion every office should take a zero tolerance approach towards theft so this obviously includes thefts that occur in dreams. The best way to stop somebody stealing from you in your dreams is to steal something from them when you’re awake and see how they like it. No doubt they will complain and at this point you can explain to them that you’ll only respect their property if they learn to respect yours. It’s important that you lead by example and set the standards of behaviour yourself or it may prove detrimental to overall team cohesion.

Hope this helps.


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