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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management

 

Dear Darcus,
I have just found a five pound note on the floor next to one of my team members’ desks. I understand the money could belong to the team member that sits there, but it may also have been dropped by someone else. How do I decide who to give the fiver to?

 

Dear Reader,

Ah! The old, ‘who owns the fiver?’ conundrum. There is a school of thought in modern management that says whoever finds a five pound note on the floor is entitled to keep it if the person who finds it happens to have the capacity to grant pay rises of considerably more than five pounds to the person that actually owns it. Alternatively, a good way to spot who really owns it is to do the old, ‘King Solomon,’ test. This involves holding the five pound note up into the air and threatening to rip it up into pieces. If no one in the office starts begging you to spare the fiver and keep it for yourself, you can claim the money safe in the knowledge that it won’t be missed by anyone. Remember – openness and honesty is key when you’re settling a dispute in the workplace.

Hope this helps.

Darcus White

 

If you need any internal squabbles in your office to be neutralised – you’ve come to the wrong place. However, if you insist you can email us on info@w1nnersclub,com

 

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