Sharing is caring!

Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
Somebody in the office repeatedly breaks wind, the stench of which has the equivalent effect of nerve gas on other members of staff in the vicinity. This is obviously a major disruption to productivity. How do I find out who the flatulent offender is?


Dear Reader,

Room refragrancing courtesy of an office worker with a bad diet is a common problem in the workplace. It is unfair on colleagues and very disruptive to say the least. The best way to root out the worst offenders is to use the time tested adage, “he who smelt it dealt it,” as your theoretical start point . We suggest you gorge yourself on mutton vindaloo one evening, then every time you break wind the next day, raise your hand and proudly admit it was you. You can be sure the real colonic criminal won’t be able to handle being upstaged, so look for anyone who’s showing signs of extreme jealousy. You never know, they might even claim your trump as their own, thus enabling you to continue micro-managing everyone with your dignity restored.

Hope this helps!

Darcus White


Send in your management problems to We guarantee we’ll turn them into something far worse than you could ever conjure up in even the darkest of nightmares.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *