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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
I am the sales manager of a car dealership. I am married with three kids but I have recently started having an affair with one of the Vauxhall Astras in the showroom. I think my condition is known as mechaphilia but I can honestly say that we are truly happy and are considering getting a place together once I leave my wife. If we eventually get married, would it harm my credibility as a manager if I invited my colleagues to the wedding, or do you think they would disapprove – what with the adulterous manner in which we got together?


Dear Reader,

Your problem is a common one in most businesses. It’s important to remember that even the most stable of families go through their problems occasionally because you spend a larger proportion of your time with colleagues in the workplace than anyone else. It is therefore inevitable that relationships may blossom as a result of the proximity. There are however a couple of things you will need to consider before you pop the question to your love interest. You’ll need to consider your respective positions in the company hierarchy as a car in a dealership is not at the same level of seniority as a sales manager, so there could be issues regarding your position of trust. Also, if you do decide to proceed with a proposal, will you be traditional by asking her father for her hand in marriage? If so you’ll need to go to the factory where the car was originally made. Lastly, you must consider what refusal will do for your working relationship as the car may have a potential claim for sexual harassment if your advances are not appreciated. I’m sure that you and your new partner will be happy however and she’ll proudly wear the ring on her wing mirror when you finally drive her down the aisle. Let’s hope nobody comes along to purchase her before then.

Hope this helps.

Darcus White


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