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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
I was updating my CV the other day and I noticed that my criminal record is longer than my employment record. Do you think this will have a negative effect on my career going forward?


Dear Reader,

I often receive CVs that aren’t very impressive but then when you do a criminal record check on the individual in question, it’s apparent that they should be running their own firm. Unfortunately, whilst criminal experience demonstrates that a candidate has an enterprising nature, there’s a big difference between working for a firm and working for a ‘firm.’ If you have more experience stealing photocopiers than using them, I suggest that you seek employment in a field that is more relevant to your skill set. Investment banking might be ideal for someone of your level of morality.

Hope this helps.


Feel free to send in your professional perturbments to – just don’t expect anything approaching a solution before hell freezes over.


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