Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

He knows fuck all about management

 

Dear Darcus,
One of my team has just sent me an email asking for compassionate leave because their pet hamster died this morning. Apparently the hamster got electrocuted when it broke free from its cage before attempting to nibble the wire on the satellite TV box in the team member’s front room. The hamster now resembles an overcooked Cornish pastie and my employee is extremely upset about the matter – how should I handle this?

 

Dear Reader,

Losing a pet hamster is traumatic for anyone, but having to replace the lead on your Virgin Media set top box is considerably worse by several orders of magnitude. Apart from costing you an absolute fortune, you can only get them sent quickly to you if you purchase them on ebay which means if you haven’t programmed the box to record Match of the Day, you’ll miss the footy highlights. I suggest you take your staff member to one side and ask them if they have set their virgin box to record Match of the Day. If the answer is, ‘yes,’ then there’s no need for any compassionate leave is there? You can always get a new hamster but the North London derby only happens twice a year! Common sense – that is all.

 

Send us your management problems to info@w1nnersclub.com – a problem shared is a problem quadrupled when we get involved.

 

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