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Darcus White - The W1nners' Club

Darcus White – He knows fuck all about management


Dear Darcus,
One of my team members consistently lies about going to client meetings. They regularly put them in the diary but always seem to come back to the office laden with shopping bags afterwards, especially when Sportsdirect are having a clearance sale of Slazenger track tops – what should I do?


Dear reader,
The first thing I have to ask is what the hell you were thinking employing somebody that would wear a Slazenger tracksuit top? Let alone someone that shops at Sports Direct. Slazenger is only really worn by people that work there, everybody knows that. All I can really suggest is that you try to engineer a situation whereby the person in question gets framed for gross misconduct – possibly by planting the keys to the petty cash box in their drawer after stealing £130 from it yourself. This money can then be spent on a night out for the rest of the team. You’re team will love you for getting the beers in and the offending team member will be gone for good. You should always think about the man-management side of things first after all.

Hope this helps,

Darcus White


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