Tim was the guy in the office that everybody hated. Every working day Tim clocked in at exactly 8:00am and clocked out at 5:00am. In between those hours you were lucky if you ever saw him working. It was because of him that the company no longer did a Secret Santa at Christmas, catered monthly lunches, or Holiday Bonuses.
Secret Santa Tim was quite frugal, and when I say quite, I mean he was cheap as f***. Every employee in the company voted the amount they wanted to spend for the Secret Santa and the average amount came out at about £35. Tim’s vote however was £1. I recognized his shitty handwriting. Everyone, including Tim, agreed to spend roughly the same amount. When it came down to opening presents, it was clear that everybody had gone extra mile and went over the recommended amount. Tim received a pair of tickets to a football match plus some of his favourite team’s t-shirts and a hat. The tickets were face valued at £150 each (his secret Santa partner had season tickets and gifted him a pair from his set). When it came for Tim to give his gift, I wondered who he had to buy for – it turns out he got his desk partner Jesse. Jesse was the sweetest girl in the office. She worked well with everyone and was the most polite, respectful and soft-spoken human being I’ve ever met. When she opened her gift I wanted to die. He got her lingerie. Not just any lingerie however, it was the leather, kinky, crotchless kind with an accompanying set of handcuffs and a dildo. Poor Jessie was mortified when she opened up his badly wrapped present and it’s fair to say that HR had a field-day with that one.
Catered Lunches used to take place on the last Friday of every month and featured a longer lunch with a shorter work day. We had a revolving menu so that things never got stale – Indian, Italian, BBQ, Pizza or Chinese. Tim religiously ate Indian food. When the chosen Indian restaurant was catering for us, Tim was inevitably the first in line to eat. He would make sure that when 1:00PM hit, he already had one foot out of the office door and on the way to the canteen. When it was any of the other catered meals, he always made it known that he was irritated that so-and-so were catering. In May 2013 I got to choose what we were having and I chose Italian since my birthday was the following day. Tim was seriously pissed off about having Italian food and for the next two months the choices were either Italian or Chinese – Indian was nowhere on the horizon. Eventually everyone heard a bit of his ramblings and then it hit the ears of the company chairmen. They called the heads of every department in and asked about Tim’s feelings and how long this had gone on for. I explained how Tim was a quirky guy, but for some reason he only liked Indian food. Next morning there was an announcement that we were no longer having company lunches, which also meant no more going home at 2PM and no more lunch for the office. Everyone was pissed to say the least.
This is what got the ball rolling in terms of Tim’s ultimate demise. Our company manufactured steel products and shipped them off to different distribution warehouses. Nobody in our office worked in sales, so nobody was on commission based pay. Every year before our Christmas holidays we received our last pay checks for the year and a bonus. The bonus was a percentage of the profits divided up between all the employees. It was great. Who wouldn’t like more money right before Christmas? Tim, that’s who. This particular year had been a bad one for us as profits were down 10% due to one of our distributors filing for bankruptcy. Our bonuses were therefore not as big as before, but they still equated to a pay check’s value. Everyone other than Tim was ecstatic that they were still receiving bonuses. When Tim opened his check, all hell broke loose. I’ve never seen someone so pissed about a bonus check in my life.
First he goes around asking everyone how much they received (we all received the same amount), but nobody wanted to show him their check. Then he tries to talk to his desk-mates about receiving less than last year and things go downhill from there. Everybody Tim asked told him they had received more than last years amount. (Can you see where this is going?) After everyone’s gone home for the day and a few of us stay to clean up the Holiday Party mess, Tim rushes the company owner and lays into him about why he received such a low bonus. He said that he feels under-valued and should be getting a raise. We hear him yelling through a closed window outside.
The holidays pass and Tim is as happy as ever. All department heads get called into what seemed like a normal Monday meeting and we’re told the yearly bonus structure will no longer continue at our branch. Everybody knew why. A month later Jesse finally got him fired after bringing several instances of sexual harassment to light. Last thing I heard he had moved away to live closer to his family.
Life after Tim
In March 2014 I left the company which was about a month after Tim. Many of my co-workers were older than me – old enough to be my parents in fact, so I didn’t have an outside-work relationship with anyone. However, I Facebook messaged an old co-worker who’s still there to get some updates.
It looks like everything is back to normal and the company chairmen had reinstated all the perks. Right after Tim was fired, the department heads had a meeting with the Directors and concluded that Tim was the central issue in everything. The Directors agreed to reinstate the bonus structure and now when Indian food is ordered, there are always leftovers to take home.
The co-worker I talked to was called by a competing company as a referee for Tim a few years back. It just so happened that he answered the phone and worked in the appropriate department. After a few weeks the recruiter called him back thanking him for his answers and said that Tim didn’t make it through his probationary period. He said that Tim was the worst candidate they had ever had that was qualified on paper to do the work. He didn’t believe that Tim had lasted all the years he had at my old place. In the two weeks he was in his new job, Tim had managed to piss off pretty much every co-worker that worked there. Amazing Tim.
(Original Story by: guywiththevw Source: Reddit)