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mime artist - The W1nners' Club

A picture tells a thousand words because our gestures and facial expressions say as much about how we’re feeling as the words we use when speaking – more even!

Mime artists have perfected the art of conveying emotion through physical movement to such a degree that they don’t require words to tell their stories. As a result of this, we asked the boffins at The W1nners’ Club’s Body Language Department to analyse some photos of mime artists hard at work to see if they can work out what’s really going on upstairs.

Think you’re having a shocker today?

Wait until you hear what some of this lot have got to say mime!

1. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

“I secretly enjoy watching people get fired. I’ve performed in all the major mime shows on Broadway, but nothing in my career has been quite as fulfilling as watching one of my co-stars get the sack. I’m thinking of jacking this job in and training to be a HR consultant because that would mean I’d get to enjoy my true passion on a day-to-day basis.”

2. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

“I have no underpants on today. Strictly speaking you’re supposed to wear a jockstrap when you do this job but I find them so restricting. There’s nothing quite like feeling one’s nether regions chaffing against the stitching on the inside of an old pair of jeans to really help you put the fizz into a performance.”

3. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

“I signed up to a mime temp agency the other day and so far the only work they’ve got me is one corporate dinner and a free benefit gig at a donkey sanctuary. If I don’t get at least three paid gigs a week I’ll have to get a proper job like selling double glazing.”

4. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

Man: “Not long to go until I get her into bed me thinks. I can tell she likes me. I’ve really been turning the charm on lately by sending her a valentine’s card and subtly letting her know that I’m interested in her by letting her catch me staring at her bottom. Trust me – I got the moves!”

Woman: “Ugh – what a perv! I wish he’d stop staring at my bottom and sending me valentine’s cards. It’s all getting a bit scary.”

5. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

“I will only ever donate to charities that support the interests of black people – does that make me a racist?”

6. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

“I only live 10 minutes walk away from work but I can’t seem to get in on time every day.  I wonder if it would help if I moved far enough away that I have to get up a couple of hours earlier every morning?”

7. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

“I compared the length of my criminal record with that of my CV the other day and found that my criminal record is much longer. Strictly speaking, my criminal record is my CV if you think about it. Luckily for me however, you don’t always have to tell the truth working in this profession – in fact, you don’t have to say anything at all come to think of it!”

8. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

“This job doesn’t pay me anywhere near enough money so I’ve decided to set up an online business selling my used underpants to lonely housewives. I watched an episode of Orange is the New Black the other day and by the looks of things you can make a fortune doing that kind of work.”

9. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

“I’m going to jack this job in and find the Loch Ness monster soon. Most people that have tried before me only end up with a grainy photograph that looks like someone has placed a pair of tights over the camera lens. If I get a proper photo that doesn’t look like it’s been doctored, I could sell it to the newspapers and make a fortune – then I’d probably be invited to appear in the next series of Celebrity Big Brother or that Love Island thingy!”

10. mime artist - The W1nners' Club

“I wonder if mime artists would pay to watch a stage performance that involves people speaking? Or has that already been done?”


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