The New Zealand authorities have offered to release a shipment of Weetabix after barley a week in jail if they agree to call off their green revolution.
The 300 boxes have been detained indefinitely in the Maize prison under New Zealand’s strict anti-terra laws that allows for the threshing of detainees under irrigation.
New Zealand’s Minister for Morning Meals Mr. Phil English said, “The biscuits in question were identified as the cereal offenders we’ve been looking for when somebody sorghum trying to enter the pantry illegally without the necessary packaging. The suspects were then apprehended when they couldn’t provide a satisfactory answer as to rye traces of fertiliser that can potentially be used to make bombs were found in their possession.”
The Weetabix can be detained for up to a wheat without charge during which time police will try to harvest as much evidence as possible to bring them to trial for the crime of pesticide.
Amnesty International has corned for the immediate release of the Weetabix stating that they could be held on remand for up to an ear, durum which time they will have to survive in the Maize’s cramped cells that offer very little legume.
“It’s important the public realises we are not dealing with very rice people here. They have undertaken a campaign of millet-ary action to try to grain popular support for the germination of their ideas. So far we have managed to soil their attacks, but the public should remain vigilant and keep a look out for potential terra-ists across the entire pantry. Weetabix can come in all shapes and sizes. Some are very big, but also semolina,” Mr. English added.