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Afroman - The W1nners' Club

Afroman – new laws include on the spot fines for anyone found not to be in possession of Rizla papers

 

A US town purchased by a company that makes marijuana products has just elected Afroman as its new mayor.

 

American Green recently bought the town of Nipton in California for $5m (£3.8m) and subsequently held its mayoral elections over a 4-month period because everybody that was eligible to vote got high.

Chief Returning Officer Mrs. Indica Bongwater said, “As returning officer for the Nipton electoral ward, I can confirm that Afroman has been voted in as the town’s newly elected mayor. Mr. Man fought a tough election campaign that involved sleeping for most of the day, teaching children in the local kindergarten how to roll their first joint and generally eating lots and giggling whilst looking bleary-eyed for the press – anyone can tell you that the political process these days is all about how you come across in the media.”

Political analysts have said that despite being the only person in Nipton that wasn’t too stoned to put forward an electoral deposit that qualifies you to stand as a candidate, Afroman’s campaign also really struck a chord with voters at a grass roots level.

The former rapper has pledged extra funding for the town’s drug enforcement agency and has promised to get tough on non-smokers who will be forced to attend drug counselling workshops with the aim of helping them to identify the reasons why they don’t enjoy a good spliff.

Afroman has also promised to increase research funding into the use of Cannabis oil for healthcare remedies, but sceptical outsiders have criticised such a plan as unworkable, mainly because it’s anomalous to see a hospital’s principal medical treatment doubling up as the main source of recreational entertainment as well as the principal local currency.

“You have to applaud the genius of Afroman’s campaign sloganeering as that’s the main reason why he was able to get people who were previously too stoned to vote, into the electoral booths. The phrase, ‘I want to be the town’s new mayor, because I get high, because I get high, because I get hi-iggggh!’ really seemed to capture the public mood,” Mrs. Bongwater added.

 

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