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family dinner - The W1nners' Club

Trump Family Dinners – conversation is now limited to fake news


Business talk will be banned at Trump family dinners in a bid to avoid any conflict of interest now that Donald Jr and Eric have taken control of the President’s commercial interests.


Mr Trump is hoping that by simply not talking about business with any of his sons, he will be compliant with the standards expected by the Office of Government Ethics.

The US President’s Head of Financial affairs Mr. Gordon Growth said, “To be honest family meals at the Trump Tower have become a bit awkward to say the least. No one’s allowed to talk about business so the meals tend to get interspersed with long silences where everybody present is struggling to think of something to say – ironically, it’s a bit like being at a business lunch with clients.”

Don Jr and Eric will be given the authority to manage the Trump Organisation for the duration of their father’s presidency and whilst some have insisted that nothing short of divestment will resolve any conflicts of interest that may exist, Mr. Trump is confident he can thwart the rules by not having any idea of how badly things are going at the company.

“Tax, Money, Dollar, Revenue – those words are all banned at the dinner table. Saying, ‘do you want two potatoes with your roast or three?’ could be a breach of the regulations as the Trump boys may use this as some sort of code to relay performance figures back to their father. Even a raised eyebrow from Mr. Trump followed by a shrug of the shoulders from Eric could be construed as Mr. Trump saying, ‘how did we do this quarter?’ and Eric replying, ‘on current trend we expect to see a good return on invested capital however recent S&P 500 index data suggests there is room for further yield expansion,’” said Mr. Growth.

Most US Presidents establish blind trusts to look after their commercial interests when they take office and Mr. Growth stated on record that, “Mr Trump is hoping the ban on business talk at mealtimes will amount to a blind trust in the eyes of compliancy rules because he won’t be able to see what’s going on day to day in the business and he certainly doesn’t trust the two lads to make him any money.”

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