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Twin Peaks Chocolate - The W1nners' Club

Twin Peaks – contains enough extra chocolate to fund the NHS for an entire week….


The producers of Twin Peaks have announced that they have signed a product placement deal that will feature Toblerone in the new series of the Mystery drama television show.


Toblerone’s specially made, ‘Twin Peaks’ chocolate bar that was designed especially for the new series, will sell for just £1 and will be available in Poundland stores alongside old Blu-Ray DVDs of series one and two of the hit show.

Toblerone’s Head of Marketing Mr. Bill Board said, “our new Twin Peaks bars that were specially designed for the show will feature 20% more chocolate in it than our original – mainly because of shrinkflation due to Brexit as the latest version of Toblerone contains 20% less chocolate than it did a year ago, so in essence the Twin Peaks bar will be just like a bar of Toblerone before the Brexit vote took place, only it has two peaks rather than the usual one.”

Fans of the early 90s crime drama have complained that the peaks on the Twin Peaks chocolate bar do not accurately represent the landscape of the Salmo-Priest Wilderness where the original series was set, but programme makers have argued that trying to recreate the Snoqualmie Falls in a Toblerone rip-off chocolate bar would require the use of a chocolate fountain which are not currently available on sale for £1 at Poundland.

A limited edition run of 500,000 Twin Peaks bars with teal coloured packaging are set to become collector’s items due to their use as a prop in the new series, with a major plot twist revealing (#spoileralert) that the murdered teenager in the show, Laura Palmer, actually died as a result of ingesting enough chocolate to feed the entire population of a small town in Southwest Washington, USA.

“Nearly 250,000 tonnes of chocolate have been consumed by Poundland customers since Twin Peaks was last shown on television, which is roughly the same amount that has been removed from the average Toblerone bar since the Brexit vote,” Mr. Board added.


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