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Toblerone - The W1nners' Club

Toblerone – it was never about the chocolate anyway…..


The makers of Toblerone made the bold claim yesterday that empty space is the new chocolate.


The gaps between the chocolate bar’s triangular segments have been widened recently as manufacturers claim the popular snack was never really about chocolate in the first place.

Mondelez International’s Head of Marketing Mrs. Honey Almond said, “The great misnomer about our Toblerone bar is that we’ve always been selling you chocolate and the space in between the peaks was part of the mountain-inspired design. The reality however, is that we were actually selling the space between the bars and what better way is there to enjoy this space than by eating some chocolate as you experience it?”

The weights of two bars from Toblerone’s UK range have been reduced from 400g to 360g and 170g to 150g respectively and customers have been left seething as yet another iconic food item is now not quite as good as it was before June 23rd.

“We can assure you this has nothing to do with Brexit. What we’re selling is a brand experience. When you buy a Toffee Crisp or an Aero, the empty space is interwoven within the fabric of the chocolate itself and it’s impossible to count the bubbles but with Toblerone bars you know exactly how much space you’re getting,” Mrs. Almond added.

One customer stated that if it’s the space in between and not the item itself that adds value to a product, then Shane McGowan should never have got his teeth done last year. Another said that if Toblerone were prepared to get so existential with what constitutes a chocolate bar, then it would be logical and frankly honest if they got a bit more existential with their pricing as well.

Toblerone have issued an official statement that claims anyone who has ever climbed the Matterhorn would understand the sheer joy and elation that comes from experiencing the panoramic views at the summit and by not focusing on this experiential element, customers would be robbed of the full brand experience.

“The more space we put in our Toblerone bars, the closer the customer gets to the Swiss Alps – which coincidentally aren’t in the European Union either,” said Mrs. Almond.


One comment on “Toblerone Claims Empty Space is the New Chocolate
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