Children across the United Kingdom have expressed their delight at the prospect of not receiving presents from Argos this Christmas due to a delivery driver strike.
Many of the youngsters in question have only just got over the fact that their disappointing gifts from last year were not delivered by a cuddly old man in a red suit down the non-existent chimney of a three bedroom semi-detached house, but were in fact cheaply acquired by their parents from the catalogue retailer.
Amber Smith (8) from Gateshead said, “It was bad enough finding the receipt my Dad left on the kitchen table last year confirming everything the older kids at school had been saying about there being no Father Christmas, but when I noticed the receipt was from Argos I didn’t just feel let down, I was horrified.”
Drivers at the company’s main distribution centre in Staffordshire will stage a three day walkout next week and it is rumoured the nation’s kids are awaiting the receipt of alternative presents to the Chill Factor Milkshake Makers and Finding Dory Squishy Pops (7 pack) many of them received last year.
The dispute centres around the calculation of holiday pay and the drivers’ union has demanded overtime and extra shift payments are taken into account. It is rumoured however that the strikers also face anti-blackleg tactics from their own children who are seeking to inflate the crisis in solidarity with youngsters across the land.
Unite Regional officer Mrs. Cindy Calism said, “This strike will cause havoc and mayhem for Argos stores in the run up to Christmas, which is exactly what the little blighters are hoping for. Our members are unable to agree a solution because they face picketing action from their own kids at home. Some union members’ houses resembled The Battle of Orgreave in the run up to bedtime recently – minus the Donkey Jackets of course.”
A spokesperson for Argos has called on the nation’s little ones to relent on their universal demand for Turkey Twizzlers at mealtimes, the abolition of the naughty step and Christmas presents procured solely from Toys R Us, but pledge to stock up on Star Wars Rogue One Rebel U-Wing Fighters in time for the January sales to help bring the dispute to a swift conclusion.