Spotify has announced that its ‘fake artists’ will soon embark on a 52 date world tour.
The ‘Sleep and Ambient Chill’ tour is said to be a first for the music industry because none of the advertised gigs will actually take place – principally because the artists that will be performing don’t actually exist.
Spotify’s Head of Padding Out Playlists with Music You Normally Hear in a Shopping Mall, Mrs. Ellie Vator-Choons said, “This tour will be a revelation for music fans worldwide. Imagine not going to a concert for an artist that isn’t actually an artist at all. It’ll make Gorillaz look like something out of an old Norman Wisdom movie. We are able to solve a lot of the problems that the music industry has been plagued with in recent years such as secondary ticketing with this tour because no actual tickets will be issued as no concerts are taking place.”
The ‘fake artists’ on the ‘Sleep and Ambient Chill’ tour will not be giving a press conference in the run up to the start of the tour for obvious reasons, but will instead not feature in a fly-on-the-wall documentary that will more than likely just involve footage of a fly on a wall that’s been purchased from a stock library.
Various hotel chains have already stated on record that they will not be allowing any ‘fake artists’ from the tour to stay at their hotels – mainly because no reservations currently exist for anybody called ‘fake artist’ on their booking system, rather than any reasonable fear of televisions being thrown out of top floor windows.
“This tour is going to be all about no sex, no drugs and absolutely no rock and roll – the principle reason being that you can’t indulge in such things if you don’t exist. If fans want to meet their heroes in the flesh, you’re better off going to a Justin Bieber concert – although he’s not a real artist either is he?” Mrs. Vator-Choons added.