Shares in Goals Soccer Centres jumped after the five-a-side football firm confirmed it was in early-stage talks to play a 4-a-side match with rival Powerleague because two of their players haven’t turned up yet.
In a stock market announcement, Goals said that 4-a-side was among the “strategic opportunities” currently being assessed by its board because, let’s be honest – playing 5 v 3 is a bit shit when everybody shells out £5 in subs every week.
Goals’ Head of Bringing a Mate Down to Play to Make up the Numbers, Mr. Astro Turf said, “The preliminary discussions with Powerleague are but one of several strategic opportunities currently being assessed by the Goals board. We usually play five-a-side and go for a pint afterwards, but as two of our lot have chickened out due to the bad weather, one of their lads will have to join our team so we can at least have a 4-a-side game.”
In a statement on Monday, Goals stated that they had noted the recent press speculation concerning discussions with Powerleague and the possibility of combining the two teams, although the company stated that whoever joined their side would have to go in goal.
At this stage in discussions, no commercial or financial terms have been agreed and no decision on any course of action has been made by the board of either company, but it is rumoured that ‘Smithy,’ from Powerleague may be prepared to swap sides if he’s allowed to take all the free kicks and penalties.
“There is no certainty that any transaction will proceed. Notwithstanding the above, the board and the executive are highly focused on delivering the plan announced in June 2016 at our shareholder meeting, but Dave says he has to work late these days so can’t always get down for 6:30pm and Trev apparently has a new bird. It’s quite possible we might have to get some new players to join so the company will provide a further update in due course when appropriate,” Mr. Turf added.