The iconic electronic billboards in London’s Piccadilly Circus could be used as emergency lighting in the event of a failure of the sun according to scientists.
Renovation work has converted the famous illuminated advertising boards into one ultra-high definition curved screen that now has the same luminosity as a supermoon.
Westminster City Council’s Head of Cosmology Mrs. Shola Radiation said, “The new billboards at Piccadilly Circus are so f*cking bright that you can see them from outer space. We weren’t aware of this initially as they were only put up to sell fizzy drinks and over-priced make up, but the glare from the new high definition upgrade registered as a solar flare with the hubble telescope. The astrology team based at the Gran Telescopio Canarias telescope in Spain thought they’d discovered a holographic transmission from an extra-terrestrial species seeking first contact with humanity, only to find out it was an advert for cheap car insurance when we tried to send a reply.”
Scientists have proposed that the newly-upgraded billboard could be used as emergency lighting for planet earth in the event of a failure of the sun, and whilst they concede that such an event will be highly unlikely for at least another 5 billion years, the light that is generated today from the latest Heinz tomato ketchup advert will still be visible then as it gets reflected back to Earth from the far reaches of the universe.
The upgraded billboard hoardings are now so bright that holiday companies have been touting Piccadilly Circus as the best location in the northern hemisphere to obtain a suntan in the middle of winter and whilst it isn’t safe to sit by the Eros statue in bathing gear without wearing at least factor 1,000,000 sunblock, the whole of the UK will be renamed Britain-on-Sea due to everywhere now having guaranteed sunshine if McDonalds happen to be running an advertising campaign.
“A solar eclipse is a completely different phenomenon these days. It used to be when the moon blocks the light from the sun as it passes the earth, but now it’s when the number 14 bus to Putney drives past the advertising billboards at Piccadilly Circus,” Mrs. Radiation added.