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Riot Police - The W1nners' Club

Pepsi Challenge – It will be harder to decide which drink you prefer whilst being held in a choke hold

 

Soft drinks manufacturer Pepsi has decided to revamp its format for the Pepsi challenge by introducing a crack unit of riot police to make it harder for contestants to work out which drink they’ve just tasted – mainly because they’ll be more concerned about dodging vicious blows from truncheons.

 

The legendary marketing promotion in which regular people blind taste test one cup filled with Pepsi and another with Coca Cola, will now feature attention seeking celebrities getting baton charged by an out of control police unit in full riot gear.

Pepsi’s Head of Ill-thought-out advertising campaigns Mr. Demi Graphic said, “We’re really going to ramp things up with our new Pepsi challenge advert. We’ve already signed up a whole host of leading celebrities to spread our message of global unity by making a complete mockery of the reasons why people endure this sort of thing to secure even the most basic civil rights.”

The new Pepsi challenge will see celebrities such as Kendall Jenner in a mock-riot scenario campaigning for human rights such as the right to appear in no less than 12 new episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, before being hosed down with water cannon, shot with rubber bullets and having police dogs set upon them as they’re dragged off to jail.

Pepsi plans to introduce a public voting system on social media to pick the celebrity contestants involved and it is rumoured Kanye West, Katie Hopkins, Paris Hilton and Bono have all been unanimously nominated by pretty much everyone on earth.

“Seeing Katie Hopkins getting mauled by a police dog whilst being tasered for claiming her basic human rights will help us to sell enough cans of soda to fill the Grand Canyon. The only question is whether or not she’ll then go on Twitter to rant about how the police are a bunch of namby-pamby liberals who should’ve used an RPG on such rabble-rousing cockroaches,” Mr. Graphic added.

 

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