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Tesco deli counter - The W1nners' Club

Tesco deli counters – a great place to buy Iberian ham and clean boxer shorts….


Tesco is set to start selling Next men’s underwear at its deli counters in an attempt to woo in-store customers who may be in desperate need of a change of pants.


Britain’s largest supermarket chain recently struck a deal with the high-street fashion brand to use the extra space in its larger stores, in a move that will bid farewell to the age-old problem of having to wander around Tesco in soiled underwear.

Tesco’s Head of Customer Incontinence Mrs. Di Gestion said, “we’re pleased to be partnering with Next and look forward to seeing how customers respond. Before, if you ever found yourself getting ‘caught short’ whilst doing the weekly shopping, you would have had to walk around as if you had a broken ankle to prevent a further accident occurring that would have required some assistance from our cleaning staff. Our store within a store concept however, allows for a whole host of customer emergencies to be remedied without the need for any large scale investment in bathroom facilities.”

Tesco already has third-party deals in place with firms such as Dixons Carphone, the fashion retailer Arcadia and Holland and Barrett – although the Next deal is rumoured to be the first that addresses the fundamental problem of soiled underwear, which retail analysts argue does more to ruin the average shopping trip than realising you’ve run out of pay as you go mobile data as is the main driver behind the Dixons Carphone partnership.

Next is Britain’s most successful clothing retailer this century in terms of profits, but the company has struggled over the last two years due to a shift in spending away from clothing, so it is hoped that the Tesco alliance will go some way to reaffirming the company’s credentials as far as providing quality underwear on demand is concerned.

“We’re going to expand on the concept even further by looking into ways in which we can provide a store within a store, within a store, within a store – which would probably involve someone selling something on eBay, at a pharmacy counter, inside an off licence which is situated next to the changing rooms at Next which is at our deli counter. It’d be a bit like those Russian dolls or that really weird Bjork video where she reads a story about someone reading a story about someone reading a story about someone reading a story,” Mrs. Gestion added.


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