Strip club - The W1nners' Club

New one pound coin – difficult to tuck into a stocking garter

 

The new 12-sided one pound coin went into circulation this week although the new security features mean it can only be spent at pound-in-the-pot strip joints.

 

Only a small number of the new coins were released initially, with strict limits placed on how many could be handed out and The Post Office was allowing just five coins per customer to avoid dangerous stampedes at Titty bars up and down the country.

The Royal Mint’s Head of Spare Change Mr. Lee Galtender said, “Nearly 1 in 3 of the old one pound coins were fake so we’re really ramping things up in terms of security. Our new version is so secure that you won’t be able to use one anywhere unless you’re the sort of person that goes to strip bars on their own and drops a quid into a pint glass as the stripper walks around when she has finished performing. This should significantly reduce the amount of counterfeit coins in circulation.”

The new one pound has a deliberately complex shape to make it harder to manufacture and counterfeit but the trade-off for this high tech innovation is that supermarkets, launderettes, taxis, railway stations and pub cigarette machines are all unable to accept the new currency unless shoppers can prove it isn’t a one euro coin that’s been leftover after a recent holiday.

Street muggers and cashpoint beggars have also thus far refused to accept the new pound and most are being flexible in allowing people to use their old £1 coins until they cease to be legal tender later in the year.

“We have until October to clear out those round pounds languishing in piggy banks, change pots and down the back of Britain’s sofas, so my advice is to get down to your local strip joint as soon as possible because it might not be possible to use them to steal supermarket trollies for much longer,” Mr. Galtender added.

 

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