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Nokia 3310 - The W1nners' Club

New Nokia 3310 – UK fuel protests anyone?


Nokia announced the launch of its new handset that comes with the unique ability to transport users back to the year 2000.


The new Nokia 3310 is a remake of the company’s iconic handset that was first launched 17 years ago and owners of the new version will instantly get transported back in time as long as they have a good signal and sufficient battery life.

Nokia’s Head of Time Travel Mrs. Eve N. T’Orizon said, “The 3310 was the first mass-market mobile and there’s a massive amount of nostalgia and affection for it. We decided to add the time travel feature to the new version because things have got so bad around here that we want everyone to think it’s the year 2000 and the iPhone hasn’t been invented yet.”

Owners of the new 3310 will experience what it feels like to not be able to do a Google Search on your phone due to the new version’s clever use of limited internet facilities. A specially developed 2.5G connectivity will mean a much slower data transfer speed than the present day 3G and 4G capacity, whilst basic web browsing and a much smaller range of apps than are currently available on Android and iOS will give users the sense that Michael Owen scored THAT goal in the 1998 world cup only two years ago.

The new 3310’s single camera, with its meagre two megapixel resolution will give phone users the overriding feeling that, ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,’ has just been published and Al Gore is about to demand a recount for the state of Florida in the US Presidential election against George W. Bush.

“The new 3310 is the perfect antidote to modern living. With a whole month’s standby time and more than 22 hours of talk time, owners of our handset will be convinced that Sony are about to release the Playstation 2 and the Summer Olympics will be taking place in Sydney, Australia later in the year,” Mrs. T’Orizon added.


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