Airbnb’s proposed new premium service will see hosts being encouraged to behave more like Basil Fawlty from the hit TV show Fawlty Towers.
The new product intends to attract higher-paying travellers who have yet to use Airbnb because they prefer the amenities that are guaranteed by hotels such as being shouted at by the manager and generally getting treated in such a way that suggests life would be perfect if they didn’t exist.
Airbnb’s Head of Cantankerous Old Gits That Run Hotels in South Devon, Mr. Beddan Breakfast said, “We have been encouraging our hosts to behave more like hoteliers and there is of course only one person you can really use as an appropriate model in this particular sector. Basil Fawlty is without question the best known hotelier in the UK if not the world, so we’d like to use him as a template for how our premium service should be run.”
Airbnb is expected to invite a select group of hosts to participate in the new service and accommodation providers will be expected not to mention the war whilst performing a Ministry of silly walks style goosestep when dealing with app users.
If they accept, the hosts will also be visited by an inspector who will determine if the homes meet certain specific requirements that range from not knowing how to prepare a decent Waldorf salad for loud and obnoxious Americans, being able to thrash a red Austin 1300 motor car with tree branches, and leaving a talking Moose’s head on the front reception desk to confuse old military Majors.
“With Airbnb expanding its services to improve travellers’ experiences by including hotel-like features, we should be able to attract a wider customer base. The challenge will be to find enough Spanish waiters with a sufficiently poor grasp of English to staff our premium service locations so that our hosts can beat them with a frying pan, clip them round the ear, poke them in the eye or smack them on the forehead with a spoon,” Mr. Breakfast added.