Chicken Dinosaur - The W1nners' Club

2 Sisters Chickenosaurus: soon to be stocked by the Natural History Museum…..

 

The Natural History Museum has expressed an interest in selling chicken from one of the UK’s largest supermarket suppliers after undercover footage revealed some of the meat was much older than originally thought.

 

The Guardian and ITV released film showing an occurrence where 2 Sisters workers altered the slaughter date of poultry being processed at the firm’s Site D plant in West Bromwich, to make it appear as if it’s sell by date could be a point in time after the dinosaurs became extinct.

The Natural History Museum’s Head of Fossils and Dinosaur Skeletons Mr. Archie Ology said, “The real use by date on some of the chicken being supplied by 2 Sisters is so f*cking old, some of it may have come before the egg. This is of course great if you’re The Natural History Museum, but very bad if you’re Tesco, Sainsbury’s or Marks and Spencer. It’s not so bad if you’re Aldi or Lidl because it means you can offer a two for the price of one deal as soon as stocks hit the shelves.”

The Guardian and ITV News claim an undercover reporter witnessed workers changing the “kill dates” on chickens, many of which had not yet evolved into the feathered birds we know today, but were instead about 9ft. tall with a high crescent-like crest on their skulls and feasted on a staple diet of Stegosaurus eggs and lost cavemen.

Food experts have said that altering “kill dates” could artificially stretch the commercial life of meat and fool consumers into buying chicken that is past its use-by date. An investigation by the Food Standards Agency uncovered instances where customers were forced to eat some of the out-of-date chicken using a rock hammer due to the meat being sold in fossilised form.

“We use carbon dating to ascertain the exact age of our products so our customers can be sure that the products they buy from us have a precise use by date. We’re even developing a range of recipes customers can use to help them prepare meat that’s been supplied by 2 Sisters. There’s Chicken Methuselah, Poussin de Pre-History and a particular favourite of mine which is Cream of Chicken Primordial Soup. People that want something simple should opt for the meat(eorite) and two veg,” Mr. Ology added.

 

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