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Monpoly - The W1nners' Club

Monopoly – Could the cat be replaced with a Sabre-toothed Tiger?

 

Hasbro has announced its intention to modernise the Monopoly game by replacing its outdated wheelbarrow token with a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

 

The gaming giant says that despite not having existed on planet earth for over 70 million years, dinosaurs are still a much more relevant symbol of modernity than the anachronistic wheelbarrow.

Hasbro’s Head of Board Games Mr. Roly Dice said, “We understand all too well that you’re unlikely to see packs of dinosaurs stomping across Hampstead Heath like in a scene straight out of Jurassic Park but similarly, who the hell has an allotment these days? The Monopoly game has a responsibility to reflect the lives of fans that play it and the suggestion that everyone still pops down to their local allotment on a weekend to tend marrows and turnips is quite frankly ridiculous.”

The T-Rex will join the five surviving “classic” tokens namely: the dog, the racing car, the top hat, the battleship and the cat.

Some of the proposed tokens that also failed the modernity test include such antiquated cultural icons such as the hashtag, the emoji face, the Tablet computer, the Smartphone, the Facebook logo and someone typing up a bad hotel review on Trip Advisor.

It’s not the first time Hasbro has updated the game’s pieces. In 2013, another long-serving game piece – the iron, was replaced with the cat – the theory being everyone’s a cat lover these days and there’s therefore no point in ironing your clothes if they’re going to get covered in moggy fur as soon as you sit down to drink a cup of coffee in front of the television.

“Monopoly is very much as relevant today as it was back in the 1930s and we plan to stay in touch with the times by constantly updating the game’s tokens. Today it’s the T-Rex but in future we might feel the need to replace it with 4.3 billion-year-old zircon crystals. Who knows, if we want to get really up to date we may introduce a token depicting the infinite moment that occurred before the big bang – although it’s hard to imagine how anyone could own all of the four stations if the universe hasn’t come into existence yet,” Mr. Dice added.

 

 

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