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Mike Ashley Newcastle United - The W1nners' Club

Mike Ashley – Newcastle United are willing to accept a reduced offer…

 

Sports Direct owner Mike Ashley has handed in a transfer request to leave premier league football club Newcastle United.

 

The want away owner is rumoured to be willing to accept £380million for the termination of his contract, which is considered by many to be a high price to pay for someone that has only ever sat in the stands over his 10 year stint at the club.

Newcastle United’s Director of Football Mr. Geordie Shaw said, “Mr. Ashley was initially put up for sale at £400million, but it is thought that a lack of first team appearances and some of his off-the-pitch activities may have rendered this figure a bit too high – even in footballing terms. The club has stated that it is willing to accept £20million less in the hope that both Mr. Ashley and the Newcastle United fans can soon enjoy a prosperous future as far away from each other as is humanly possible.”

Mr. Ashley has stated on record that he is no longer prepared to put any more money into the football club having already invested £250million over a decade, but says that by putting himself up for sale and leaving, it may yet prove to be the most valuable transfer the club has enjoyed since Alan Shearer’s return back in 1996.

Sources close to the club have stated that rather than being spent on new players however, the cash is instead likely to be reinvested in a new line of multipack Everlast Y-fronts at Sports Direct.

Ashley’s playing statistics speak for themselves having racked up an almost unprecedented, 0 games, 0 goals, 0 assists and a range of clean sheets acquired for free as a result of the minority stake he holds in Debenhams, and whilst question marks still exist over how consistent his playing career has been, Mr. Ashley somehow remains at the top of the football earnings league table with a reputed fortune of over £2billion.

“If Neymar is worth £220million, then selling Mike Ashley has to be valued at a figure that is much, much higher than that. Just think of how many extra shirts the fans will buy if he leaves,” Mr. Shaw added.

 

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