McDonalds has announced plans to turn itself into a Chinese take away chain after the recent success of its Szechuan sauce.
Despite being on sale for only a single day, no product relaunch has provoked an outpouring of such public emotion since Robin Thicke announced he was going back into the studio to record another album.
McDonalds’ Head of Woks and Deep Fried Squid Mr. Tom Soya said, “we tried to do oriental food back in 1998 by bringing out our own Szechuan sauce to promote the release of the Disney film Mulan, but ever since it appeared in an episode of Rick and Morty, everybody seems to have gone take away crazy all of a sudden again. A lady gave birth to a baby in our East Grinstead branch whilst queuing for Szechuan sauce, so she has decided to name her child: No 28 Chicken with Green Peppers in Black Bean Sauce Smith. There was also a case of a man called Walter from Cheshunt, who has changed his name by deed poll to Water Chestnut – so there’s clearly a market for it all.”
The fast food giant has decided to adopt the Chinese flag as the logo for its take away restaurants and says that this will have very little impact on company branding as the colours are identical to its current logo, whilst plans have also been put in place to build a McDonalds Terra Cotta army made out of life-like clay effigies of the Hamburglar.
McDonalds has apologised to its customers who will now have to learn how to eat a Big Mac and fries with chopsticks, but the company says the distribution of free fortune cookies with a message that says, “I’m loving it,” written inside them, should go some way to maintaining the feel good factor as the transition gets underway.
“We understand that some people won’t like the changes we’re making, but in order to succeed in the food industry you have to remain innovative in the marketplace. It’s a bitter sweet reality we have to face – or rather, it’d be more accurate to call it sweet and sour,” Mr. Soya added.