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percy pigs - The W1nners' Club

Percy Pigs – enjoying the latest price increase……


Marks and Spencer has announced it will peg the price of Percy Pig sweets to the value of bitcoin in a bid to thwart the negative effects of Brexit on supplies.


A 170g bag of the famous sweets now costs £1.65, up from £1.50 and the retailer says that much like the adoption of the Gold Standard in the 19th century, where paper money was freely convertible into a fixed amount of gold, determining the price of Percy Pigs by tracking the value of Bitcoin will ensure that supplies of the popular sweet remain constant during the difficult economic conditions that lie ahead.

Marks and Spencer’s Head of Confectionery Supplies Mrs. Sacha Rinne said, “The rate at which people are consuming Percy Pigs these days means that we won’t be able to meet demand if Brexit negotiations continue to go as they have done. The uncertainty is clearly encouraging people to start comfort eating and everyone knows that there’s no sweet more suited to this purpose than Percy Pigs – apart from perhaps Fruitella. We have therefore been forced to base the price of a packet on the value of Bitcoin, as hopefully the rapid increase in value will limit the excessive demand we’ve been experiencing lately.”

Economic analysts have criticised the latest attempt by a high street retailer to remove all the fun that is left in the world by making the only thing worth living for – a packet of Percy Pigs, that bit harder to enjoy due to its escalating price.

Financial experts have also warned that the value of Bitcoin can’t keep increasing at its current rate without the bubble bursting at some point and if anything, the value of bitcoin should be pegged to the price of a packet of Percy Pigs because they will always be the tastiest thing you can put in your mouth if you’re hungover or smoke weed regularly.

“There are quite a lot of similarities between determining the price of Percy Pigs and the adoption of the Gold Standard. It works well during peace time, but if war breaks out between the UK and the rest of Europe, Germany may have to pay reparations in Percy Pigs which could inadvertently lead to a rise of the far-right – or has that already happened again recently?” Mrs. Rinne added.


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