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Justice League Moustache - The W1nners' Club

Justice League 2: a proportion of the budget will be spent on chest wigs that will be digitally removed later on….


Warner Brothers have announced their aim to break the current CGI facial hair removal budget record with Justice League 2.


The movie studio is planning to go all out for the next movie in the DC comics franchise after filmgoers admitted to being more emotionally charged at seeing the unsubtle CGI work done on Henry Cavill’s top lip to remove his moustache than the movie’s actual plot.

Warner Brothers’ Head of Digitally Removed Facial Hair Mr. Saul Patch said, “If you look at why everybody’s been talking about the first Justice League movie, it wasn’t because of the plot, it wasn’t because of Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot or even Jason Moma for that matter – it was because we spent $25million on CGI to digitally remove Henry Cavill’s moustache to make him look like the new guy your mum’s been dating who you’re not quite sure about yet. Whilst the film might have bombed at the box office, it’s highly likely Henry Cavill might get turned into a meme! A f*cking MEME! Can you believe that?”

Mr. Cavill’s schedule for the filming of Justice League overlapped with shooting for Mission Impossible 6 where he plays a character that sports a large moustache – so Warner Brothers have already committed a budget of at least $75million to be spent on CGI facial hair removal if Paramount decides to give the go ahead for Mission Impossible 7.

Some film industry experts have stated that bald actors such as Patrick Stewart, Ben Kingsley and Bruce Willis could see the number of roles they get offered in the future decrease significantly due to their ability to appear clean shaven across their entire head without the need for a razor of any kind – let alone CGI hair removal.

“There are of course gender equality issues if film studios start to offer roles to actors purely on the basis that their facial hair will need to be digitally removed as a way of marketing a film. This may however have the inadvertent effect of turning women with beards into major sex symbols as an increasing number of them start to land the leading role in blockbuster movies,” Mr. Patch added.


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